God's Gift

Psalm 127:3, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Last night Timothy took his first real steps. It made me think of the past year and how far he has come. Then I realized that not only he, but all of us, are taking our first steps - wobbly, tentative, unsure, but full of earnestness and expectation - on this path God has chosen for us.

I remember the week we realized Timothy needed a g-tube. I was sitting helplessly in his room, holding him on my lap as he silently, furiously wailed. It was a culmination of several days - a bottle in my hand, trying again and again to feed a ravenous baby who refused to eat. Exhausted, broken, empty, I wept and cried out to God, thinking this must be what hell is like.

Since that moment the Lord has brought us from the valley of the shadow of death back to joy. Through those first steps last night, Timothy has symbolically conquered all the past year has brought him. Nothing can describe the feeling of watching that than pure, true, unadulterated delight.

Later that night I read about 17 other children who also had Timothy's same defect of lymphatic malformation. Unlike Timothy, these little ones received their diagnosis in utero. All 17 mothers chose to end their children's lives before birth. My joy turned to sorrow as I realized that they would never be given a chance to take their first steps, to overcome, to honor God and bring their parents joy.

When everything was new, I only saw Timothy's special needs; now that he is more familiar, I just see him. Finally, I understand why God says children are a blessing. Yes, they are a responsibility and sometimes even a burden. But through the gift of parenthood, God reveals a taste of what He feels for us as His own children. What a wonderful God He is to share this most blessed stewardship of raising His precious little ones! "Oh how deep are the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!" Romans 11:33.