Hold Fast to Jesus

Luke 2:35, "...and a sword will pierce even your own soul - to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed."


Nothing rends a parent's heart more than to watch his child suffer. While our own trials may tempt us to doubt God, being a forced bystander to the inexorable affliction of a precious little one dares us to turn our backs on Him completely.

Some time ago I heard a woman speak of being imprisoned in a Romanian labor camp for her belief in Jesus. While there, she was forced to watch as her son was summoned and then ruthlessly beaten before her eyes. What do you think this mother said to her son at such a moment? "Hold fast to Jesus!" was her exhortation. What could cause a parent to utter such words, when that very same Jesus did nothing to stop the injustice? "Curse God and die," said Job's wife. Isn't this the logical reaction?

When Timothy is at his worst the Enemy asks if I, too, will curse God. When spiraling down in the face of his wager, the solid foundation on which I always land is the truth of Jesus' death and resurrection. If true, then I can believe all that He said: that no suffering (including Timothy's) will be wasted, that heaven awaits with joys unspeakable, that this life is but a breath compared to eternity to come; that I have been saved from God's just punishment of hell. If false, then I am in the company of Paul: "If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied" 1 Corinthians 15:19.

So, why do I choose the path of faith? Not because God also had to watch His own son suffer; not because I have nowhere else to turn; not because God has brought beautiful, abundant fruit out of the ugliest and most sorrowful times of my own life. No, I continue to follow God because I believe He is true.

So herein is the test: do you believe Christ is God? History says He rose from the dead to prove it; do you believe it? If so, you must trust Him even when it seems unreasonable, even wrong. Yes, it is a gamble. I choose to place my chips on eternity, for the benefits of being right about Christ, as well as the risks of being wrong, are both far too great to ignore. And, when Timothy is old enough to understand, I, like the Romanian prisoner, will tell Timothy to hold fast to Jesus.

Where will you place your bet?

God's Gift

Psalm 127:3, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Last night Timothy took his first real steps. It made me think of the past year and how far he has come. Then I realized that not only he, but all of us, are taking our first steps - wobbly, tentative, unsure, but full of earnestness and expectation - on this path God has chosen for us.

I remember the week we realized Timothy needed a g-tube. I was sitting helplessly in his room, holding him on my lap as he silently, furiously wailed. It was a culmination of several days - a bottle in my hand, trying again and again to feed a ravenous baby who refused to eat. Exhausted, broken, empty, I wept and cried out to God, thinking this must be what hell is like.

Since that moment the Lord has brought us from the valley of the shadow of death back to joy. Through those first steps last night, Timothy has symbolically conquered all the past year has brought him. Nothing can describe the feeling of watching that than pure, true, unadulterated delight.

Later that night I read about 17 other children who also had Timothy's same defect of lymphatic malformation. Unlike Timothy, these little ones received their diagnosis in utero. All 17 mothers chose to end their children's lives before birth. My joy turned to sorrow as I realized that they would never be given a chance to take their first steps, to overcome, to honor God and bring their parents joy.

When everything was new, I only saw Timothy's special needs; now that he is more familiar, I just see him. Finally, I understand why God says children are a blessing. Yes, they are a responsibility and sometimes even a burden. But through the gift of parenthood, God reveals a taste of what He feels for us as His own children. What a wonderful God He is to share this most blessed stewardship of raising His precious little ones! "Oh how deep are the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!" Romans 11:33.