Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous... for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Compared to normal flesh, scar tissue is less sensitive, less flexible, and resistant to new growth. Scars forever change the appearance, texture, and physiology of the skin. In the end, scars harden.
The freshness of the pain of Timothy's early days has been replaced with the mundane tedium of everyday life. We have adapted and grown more self-sufficient. Our wounds have begun to scar.
Last night, we saw a film called "Courageous." Though aimed at fathers, the message penetrated the scarred, hardened heart of this mother. Time had diluted the acute pointedness of my pain, leaving an ache much easier to ignore. Yet the father in the story, faced with fresh tragedy, reminded me that through suffering God draws us to Himself.
I do not miss the open wounds of the past, but I do miss the sweetness brought by a fresh awareness of my utter dependence on Christ. I have let life slowly creep in on my relationship with God, my husband, and my beloved children, and I seek the Lord's grace and help to change. Praise God that only He is able to take my hardened heart and transform it into something new: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh," Ezekiel 36:26.
In the spirit of "Courageous," I want to make my own resolution to you, Timothy; because Biblical courage is not always showy, or outwardly rewarding, but it promises eternal rewards. Timothy, I want to promise these things to you:
To better hide God's Word in my heart so that it may always be readily available on my lips for your edification.
To choose face time with you over Facebook time.
To the best of my ability, to set before my eyes, and yours, no unclean thing, whether it be from a screen, a page, a relationship, a situation, or my own countenance.
To set aside my own laziness and commit to consistency in all areas of your training.
To pray with you, work with you, play with you, and enjoy you.
To seek God's best for you and never compromise.
To engage in the spiritual battle for your soul offensively, and not just defensively.
To the best of my ability, for your own good, to never let even the smallest seed of discontentedness, bitterness, anger, fear, hatred, disrespect, rebellion, or irreverence take root in your heart.
To model integrity and cast off hypocrisy in my own life.
To love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, to love and respect your father, and to love you and your brother unconditionally, as an example to you of what God's love is like.
Timothy, my prayer for you is that, Lord willing, someday you would grow to be a courageous husband, father, and man of God. May He give me the grace to be faithful in all that God has called me to in the overwhelming and wondeful responsbility of being your mother.
