Colossians 3:20, Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth...
Why is it that I am caught off guard now that God has asked me to forge the path He has planned for my child? After all, Jesus walked the road to the cross before us. How can I expect my son to follow in the Lord's footsteps if my own feet take a different way? No, I must follow God and, as my son follows me, by God's grace his path will also align with the Almighty.
Timothy, at times it has been easy for me to give you motherly advice, because I am not in your place. When people stare, it is not at me. When questions are asked, it is not about my appearance. When surgeries are scheduled, it is not me who will have to endure the pain.
I have a lot of answers planned for when you start to ask why God made you this way. Yet, do I believe them myself? Do I perceive beauty through God's eyes or the world's? Am I as vain as the next woman or do I truly believe Proverbs 31:30 when it says, "beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised?" Am I setting a good example for you? I fear that I am not.
And now, God has called me to trust Him with your future. Why do I doubt? God has done many miracles since your birth: keeping you safe through your delivery; preserving every major nerve and artery through major neck surgery at 6 days old and only 6 pounds; saving your life on Christmas day; providing you with sustenance when you could not eat on your own; moving his saints to many, many prayers lifted up on your behalf; keeping you safe through countless procedures; providing you with a wonderful doctor. Like the Israelites, He brought you, and our family, through the Red Sea on dry land, performed many miracles, and yet when there is no water I doubt and complain. Perhaps I have been trusting in your one earthly doctor to make you well, more than the great Physician and Healer. Remember that God is not nearly so interested in our physical healing as He is in our sanctification. He is calling me to have that heart for you, Timothy. Your physical body lasts only a short lifetime, but your spirit is eternal. 1 Timothy 4:8 says, "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." This is the heart of God, and this should be the heart of a godly parent.
Lord, help me to value the things of heaven and not of earth, to see as you see and not as the world sees, and to trust in You with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
